I lie down
and wait, wait and wait, shifting my weight from one side to the other cautiously
lest I should disturb it. Which side hurts more? I cannot decide. I make as little noise as possible; I won't complain; I won't even think about the pain. Try to
befriend it… acknowledge it … it is not foreign to you, accept it as a part of
who you are; don't rush it away; stop
hating it; accept and embrace and
befriend the damn thing or it won't go away.
I try to do all these things. And wait.
I empty my head of all the things I want to do, I give up planning or it
will spoil all my plans, I ignore all
the chores that are not done yet, I give up the ideas that stay at the threshold
of my mind waiting to be processed, to be sent through the tender set of
inflamed wires to my hand to write down, or to my fingers to type. I close my
eyes. I shut off life and wait, wait for
the pain to go away.
